(i deleted 20 years of social media.)

+ why i still ended up coming back.

(the breakup.)

i did not deactivate my accounts. i did not take a break. i deleted them. i could never sign back in. i closed my facebook, my instagram, my twitter, everything, + with it: all my connections, conversations, + content since freshman year in high school.

for some people i know, this was a quarterly routine, but for me, my social media had served as an archive of me. it served as a record-keeper of the different versions of myself. low-res pictures from junior year. 720p videos from my college RA days. pointless + passionate arguments, birthday messages, + a direct line to anyone i ever met + exchanged handles with. it was my news, my entertainment, my moral barometer, my online village.

i gave up all of it. and for the first time, i felt free.

(the great bait + switch.)

(well…)

those same techniques can also be used to hijack a subconscious brain to control the thoughts, actions, + values of a population.

i made a conscious decision to take back control i had willingly given up. the social media we have now is not the social media we signed up for 20+ years ago. i joined facebook before the concept of the “like” button. the closest thing was myspace “kudos”.

(i’ve finally hit the back in my day age.)

it all started as a cool thing where you could post a picture + update your status, all starting with the word “is”.

(iykyk.)

it somehow became a psychological social experiment of addiction, power, + control.

as software engineers, we often use human behavioral patterns to create great experiences for users. if you are able to anticipate what a person would naturally do, you can create a flow that feels effortless, intuitive, + even delightful.

(well…)

those same techniques can also be used to control the thoughts, value, + actions of an entire population.

(pixel addicts.)

i think i first realized the impact social media had on me when i noticed my persistent + involuntary checking of my phone. i would open Instagram, close it, + open it again without even remembering doing it; it was near-involuntary.

i started scrolling feeling excited for fresh, new content. it quickly devolved into feeling bad about myself. i remember actively thinking “i am not enjoying this” yet i was unable to physically stop. it consumed all my downtime. it consumed my uptime too.

it also made doing anything else feel…dull. the motivation to do anything productive, anything not instantly gratifying, became imaginary.

it was the first thing i did in the morning + the last thing i did before i fell asleep, just to repeat the cycle the next day. and it was designed that way.

tech companies, which started with the goal of creating viral apps simply for social sharing, started to employ similar techniques used to manufacture addictive behavior that legacy companies have used for years. casinos are one of the most recognizable examples.

(the house always wins.)

when was the last time you went to a local casino? not the flashy tourist attraction ones you’d find in Vegas or Atlantic City. the ones that exist around the poorest parts in your hometown. they usually reek of cigarettes, watered-down drinks, + desperation. their “patrons” are normal everyday, working folk that were just looking for a break, but are now stuck in a literal game that has burrowed so far into their human psyche that they, otherwise, wouldn’t want to play.

most of the customers there do not look like they’re having a good time, yet it’s where they spend innumerable hours + money (they don’t have), to play a game that they don’t enjoy, because it gives them a hit of dopamine every now and then. this is the trick that tech companies use.

it’s a phenomenon in psychology called “variable reward”. psychologist B.F. Skinner discovered that giving a reward at an unpredictable cadence for doing an activity made subjects considerably more eager to do it than a group that received a reward every time.

for casinos, you never know when you’re going to win, but when you do, you’re always glad you played, even if the last ten rolls were craps.

(i’m sure your luck is turning around.)

for social media, you never know when you’re going to come across a post that you love, makes you laugh, or teaches you something new, so you keep pulling that social slot machine lever.¹

(engineering customers.)

when TikTok hit the scene, it took the world by storm. their perfect formula of exclusively short-form content + the ability to swipe to something new the second you feel a speck of boredom took social media addiction to a new high². other companies took notes. Facebook + Instagram have Reels, YouTube has Shorts, and the list goes on. and now everything is TikTok.

tech companies are still innovating how to keep you addicted, and they are not doing it for fun. the longer they keep you hooked, the more advertisements they can show you. the more advertisements they show you, the more billions they make.

it then moves from overconsumption of media to overconsumption of cheap stuff you really don’t need (or want, to be honest) but it has been so persistently shoved in your face, you’re now willing to go into debt for it.

for these reasons, many of the engineers who created these apps won’t use their own creations.

(nor allow their children.)

if you’re interested in some of the things that influence my decision to quit social media, check out Netflix documentaries The Social Dilemma + Buy Now: The Shopping Conspiracy, and the book Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport³

(but it’s just business, right?)

what happens when that manipulation starts to move from making a few extra bucks to controlling the thoughts of society + the governments that serve them?

(a virtual reality.)

the final straws for me were the control i realized that social media companies had over the perception of truth.

see, almost everything you know about the world, you were told. even the most basic things that you KNOW to be true came from other people telling you with absolutely no self-verification. i wanted to reject this idea as someone who believes himself to be a free-thinker, but humor me with a thought exercise.

how do you know China exists? what about Nigeria? Australia? Iran?

it’s an odd question, but think about it. have you seen it on TV? read about it? heard stories from other people who have been or are from there? even on the rare chance you’ve been to all of these places, you haven’t been everywhere you believe + KNOW FOR A FACT is a real place.

so much of what you know about the world has come from someone else. typically we corroborate it with different sources because they all can’t be lying, right?

(right?)

but what happens when the few channels we have to communicate information, especially on a global scale, are controlled by a few interested parties that can decide what information does and does not get to you? the concept of “truth” becomes a lot more…malleable.

we have to believe the word of other people about the very existence of a place, let alone what’s happening inside of it, and we haven’t even touched on the injection of mis- and disinformation.

2016, 2020, + 2024 elections were the last straws that prepared me to click the close account buttons. Elon Musk’s ownership of X (fka Twitter) gave him direct control over large information pipelines. not that i was a huge Twitter user to begin with, but his increasingly fascist + racist rants, coupled with his apparent determination to undermine the democratic process made any participation in any activity that supports him utterly revolting.

(RIP Model X dreams.)

Mark Zuckerberg, CEO of Meta, which owns Facebook, Instagram, + WhatsApp, made his stance clear when Meta announced it was ending third-party fact-checking in the US during the misinformation epidemic.

reality had become a plaything of the elite, and i just didn’t want to play anymore. i was complicit with my voluntary participation on their platforms that gave them direct access to influence me + line their pockets with advertisement dollars. so, i decided i was done. but for good this time.

(the leap of faith.)

see, i had taken breaks from social media in the past, especially when the negative effect became palpable. but they always were temporary. a deactivation at best, but the thought of permanently deleting them scared me, despite knowing the great cost of it. this time was different though. the disgust of what i saw happening in the country made it this nerd’s form of activism, my rebellion, my revolting, my way of fighting the power.

(✊🏽.)

i opened my browser, + tab by tab, i created archives of everything i posted, everything i ever shared, + clicked delete on my accounts.

• Facebook.

• Instagram.

• X.

• (i almost created a TikTok, just so i could delete it!)

it felt great. i felt free. the constant distraction that plagued the majority of my life was…gone. i could hear my own thoughts again, no longer with the barrage of others' eXpErT opinions on topics they couldn’t even pronounce. i had finally rid myself of a lifelong addiction that others tried and failed to.

(wait for it.)













and now i have accounts on all of them again.

(well, look who came crawling back…)

why?

one word: business.

my wife and i opened a private event venue in Sacramento + per conventional wisdom, we needed a social media presence. additionally, i started a business + technology consultancy that creates automates systems for business⁴ that required me to begin building an audience + “become an expert in my field”.

and now i have to start from zero.

a part of me still wishes that i had my old accounts since i already had built a network for almost 20 years. but the peace that i gained over that period is worth the work.

so now, i have to rebuild my networks, followings (though i never had that many to begin with), + remind people i’m still alive.

but my relationship with the platforms is different. i’m primarily a creator now, instead of a consumer. i sign on to post, interact with engagement, maybe check out a few close friends’ stories + bounce.

because of that, in some ways i’m happy to be back. social media now becomes a place where i can become my best self by pushing myself to share my experience + expertise with the goal of helping people, not just to be entertained. it allows me to live in my potential, conquer my fears + do it publicly.

but social media companies are still investing billions of dollars trying to hack back in, which most people have little chance of avoiding their trap of mindless consumption. but i have a few tools up my sleeve, this time.

(bring it on.)

(how i still fight back.)

to help make sure i don’t fall back into the dopamine snare of social media, there are a few rules that i abide by to not create the habit i fought so hard to break.

(1. no notifications.)

you’d be surprised about how aggressive i am about notifications⁵. an app needs to be informing me about something either important or urgent. social media does neither, so it is an automatic “NOPE” when i get that prompt about turning on notifications.

(i’m lowkey offended you even asked.)

they will use every trick to drag you back to the app. this cuts their most direct method off at the knees

(2. no phone apps.)

if i can help it (which sometimes you can’t; see #3), i will not have a social media app on my phone. it makes accessing them a worse experience, inconvenient, + exactly what i need. my rule makes me use a computer when i need to post, engage, etc. creating as many barriers between you + an unwanted behavior as possible can stop unconscious actions, giving you a chance to think “do i really want to do this right now?” but sometimes, you might need the phone for things such as posting, editing, or other things that matter to creators, which brings me to my next rule.

(3. hidden apps.)

if you have an iPhone + want to stop the impulsive checking of social media, but don’t want to delete the app, the hidden app feature is your best friend. it’s not just for hiding that app you don’t want your girlfriend to find 👀. it hides it from your homescreen, app drawer, AND from search. instead you have to swipe over to the last page where all your apps are, scroll ALL the way to the bottom, click the folder of gray squares, scan your face, + then tap the app. and by the time you do that, you don’t even want to scroll anymore. it’s great!

what’s even better is that, on my iPhone, i’ve noticed the app disappears from my app switcher after i switch apps for only a few seconds. to reopen it, i have to do it all over again.

(who knew a feature for hiding dubious apps could actually help you get your life together?)

(4. no scrolling + feed blockers.)

most of my interaction with social media is via my laptop’s browser. and the great thing about browsers is that you have more control than you do in the apps. this includes extensions that will completely remove certain parts of certain websites (let’s say, the feed on IG). it allows you to go in, do what you came to do (e.g. post), + close the tab. the Chrome extensions that i use are Antigram to remove my IG feed, UnDistract for Facebook, + Unhook for YouTube.

(because i’m apparently addicted to YouTube, but that’s a story for another day⁶.)

(conclusion.)

this setup has been working for me, + i feel like i have a healthy relationship with social media, despite their best efforts. in all honesty, i do scroll sometimes, but now it’s closer to a couple of times a week vs. like a couple times a minute like before. mostly, i will view close friends’ stories, or look for some content about creating content or building a brand, but i really don’t have a desire to scroll any more. i still somewhat resent helping these companies by creating content that will, in turn, create more advertising dollars for them, but hey, we all have to choose our battles. does that make me a sellout? perhaps. but i hope the ideas, education, hope, + value i produce will make up for it tenfold.

---

what is your relationship with social media? is it the same social media you signed up for, or were you bait-and-switched too? how do you fight back against algorithms designed to keep you stuck? i’d love to hear!

(and to all the humans + robots, i love you.)

Joshua A.L. Harrison — (engineer. entrepreneur. human.)

---

(other places me + the robots roam.)

(subscribe to my YouTube channel.)

(follow me on Instagram.)

(follow me on Threads.)

1. (this metaphor can go so deep. scrolling past posts can resemble the spinning of a slot machine. did you know that the spinning things on slot machines are called “Reels”? i cannot make this stuff up!)

2. (of course, pun intended!)

3. (the irony of suggesting things to consume in an argument against consuming things is not lost on me 😅.)

_{(it’s apropos that this article started as a short social media post about social media,
but turned into the exact opposite.)}

4. (shameless plug.)

5. (for a long time, i was an Android user and absolutely loved it. the only reason i switched was because my girlfriend (now wife) wanted to FaceTime, and i already owned a MacBook for iOS app development. one thing i really miss about Android was the granularity you had over notifications on a system level. i could choose which types of notifications i received. when it comes to notification hygiene, the iPhone is ghetto.)

6. (read: article.)